Bridges falling out of the sky

I know it has been a while since my last post. Sometimes I get excited about this thing and sometimes it goes by the wayside.

Last Wednesday night while people were walking dogs, running with friends, getting into fender benders, working, being sick and just going about their own business, a bridge in Minneapolis went tumbling into the Mississippi River.

There are moments and events in our lives that we will never forget, we remember them so vividly that we can almost feel our heartbeat and breath at the time. Some of those moments for me are: when the Challenger exploded in the sky, the unfolding of the morning of 9/11, when the 9th ward flooded and so many people were stranded at the Super Dome, and when the 35W bridge collapsed.

I was out running (always at 6 p.m.) and when I got back to my car there were 3 missed calls, all from my family. I finally reached my mother and asked her if something had happened. I started to shake when she said, "yes", my mind was racing. "What could it possibly be?" I thought to myself, and a million things went through my mind. When she told me, I finally started to breathe and said that I was not on that bridge and I am ok.

The whole thing was pretty surreal you know. These kinds of tragedies just don't happen so close to home. Every once in a while the world stops turning on its axis for just a moment and you realize how fragile life is, and it is all just a game of chance. So many people have the same story, "I would have been on that bridge but..."

Back Home

I arrived in Duluth on Thursday for the marathon on Saturday. It was cool and breezy, I watched the temperature guage in my car drop as I coasted down the hill into the city. I was relieved that it wasn't 92 degrees, but a cool 62. I decided to change clothes and go for a run on the lakewalk, it has been almost a year since I have run there. It was very familiar, parking the the public lot, jogging out to the boardwalk and going north on the trail. There were people and dogs and strollers. I remember every hill, corner and landmark along the way. The lilacs are blooming right now and there was a cool breeze coming off the lake. For a few moments I felt as though I had never left.

Then I noticed subtle changes. A hotel had been torn down and a new one in its place. Construction on the lakewalk where traffic had to be detoured. It is strange to move away and come home. I grew up in Brainerd and the same thing happened when I moved away, and now it isn't home anymore.

I left this place after 11 years because it was time for me to try something new. As I was running on the lakewalk I felt a little nostalgic for the place and started to miss it. Mostly though, I miss the lake, that is the draw. I miss my friends here, they are family to me. I planned to go home today but alas, I am staying till Tuesday. I went to a friends' place for dinner and a post race gathering, and again, it felt as if I had never been away and I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I love where I am at right now and I don't plan to let time and distance do to my friendships what it tends to do to your affinity for home. Duluth may not always seem like home to me, but my "family" will always be here!

Hot

I am trying to remember a time when I really NEEDED shorts. In Duluth you might have shorts on for part of the day, but there is usually a point where you have to put your pants back on because the wind has switched. I noticed that my wardrobe is very slight in the shorts department and then I remembered where I have been living the past decade or so of my life. So I am now acclimating to actually having summer again.

I won't complain too loud about the heat, because I know where I came from. My dad, however, has a specific comfort zone, which I am reminded of about 362 days a year. It lies between 68 and 72 degrees. So when I called my childhood home to ask my mom a question and my dad answered, I can't believe I was surprised by his answer to my "how are you?" "It's too damn hot," he says.

Hmm, Let's try this one more time.

I started a blog at one time. I guess I haven't really visited the thing in like a year. So I thought I would give it another go. I thought about erasing my previous posts and starting over, but I actually found it a little sentimental, so I thought I would keep it. It reminds me of a life I used to have, much different from the one I now know.

Since my last post I have started a new job, moved to a new city and made many new friends. Although Duluth is very much a part of me I am finding my new little corner of the world quite comfortable and I am becoming accustomed to the flow of traffic, if you will.

I hope that I can engage a few of you into some friendly dialogue and insight into... whatever. Feel free to post comments to any of my entries. You don't have to be a blogger to put a user name to identify yourself, I would love to hear your feedback on my nonsensical rambling.

Chivalry is not dead!

In fact, it is alive and well. Yesterday while at a friendly neighborhood Bar-B-Q I was attacked by one of the neighbors chickens. Ok, so there may have been a little taunting going on, but I was friendly to this bird. I thought we were getting along fine, I was bauking and he was bauking, there was no problem. Apparently I must have said something along the lines of "fuck you" in chicken talk because as soon as I turned my back he was going for my legs. He even tried to fly up and get to my head! Here is where the chivalry part comes in. The love of my life steps in and kicks the chicken. How romantic, first he gave me his jacket, now he is protecting me from foul.

I wanted to have fresh chicken on the open fire, but he was afraid to kill it, since it wasn't our chicken. So, is it wrong to kill attack chickens and put them on the grill even if they do not belong to you? Now I am afraid of chickens AND geese, will it ever end?

If More Than One Cactus is Cacti, What Would More Than One Elvis Be?

In case you were wondering...

I AM OK! We had a really interesting day at work today. I was out buying pillows at Target (long story) on my break and saw two squads screaming toward the high school. My fleeting thought was, "oooh, this can't be good" which I quickly dismissed as I became present with the guy on the radio talking about the pancake breakfast again. On my way back to work I received a message from a colleague "on the inside" that said we were in lock down and no one was coming in or out of the building. Upon return I found that every single cop in the county was at SHS and something was going on. Since it was lunch time there were several others in the parking lot and the rumor mill was saying something about a guy that stole something from Walmart and then came to the school to hide out. No one was sure if he was armed or not, I guess. But they never did find him, he somehow got out during the lockdown.

When I came to ask if I could re-enter the building all of the administrative types were standing in front of the building patting each other on the back for a job well done. THEY DIDN'T CATCH THE FUCKING GUY (sorry mom) how is that a job well done?!?! School administration is a joke. I reckon they are a lot like the mill managers my dad used to work with. Too much education not enough brain!

I bet we'll be on the news at least statewide tonight!

This is for you: Nutbag!

Somewhere it is twenty degrees warmer, birds are chirping, leaves are in bloom and the sun is out. Not here! You learn something new every day, and last week I learned that the Minneapolis golf season and the Duluth golf season are not the same. I usually measure weather in terms of snow and road construction, but I can look at things differently, I am an open person.

I recently decided that I am going to swallow my pride, risk looking like a fool and learn how to play golf. (I am still waiting... ahem) Love does funny things to you I am finding out. I get to learn about (and with) this new person in my life, and the more I learn the more fascinated I am. He says things that make me laugh, or smile, or think. He does things because he wants to, not because he will look good doing it (well, I am biased, but he looks good doing anything).

I feel lucky today to be in love with someone so wonderful. Someone who kissed my tears away when I was sad, someone who can render me speechless with just a look. Today he is twenty degrees warmer and it is golf season there. I can hear the birds chirping because while I am here my heart is there with the birds and the sun and the blooming trees.

Identity

FYI you can post comments under an identity of your liking instead of anonymous. You do not need to be a blogger geek like me, simply choose "other" and you can put something in for your identity! You don't need to sign up for anything to have a unique name like the roadrunner!

My Heart Hurts Today

It is May Day today. I remember my days at Nisswa Elementary school when we would make May baskets with yellow daffodils and put them by someone's door that sunny day, ring the bell and run away to watch them retrieve their prize. Today there are no rays of sunshine, no baskets or yellow daffodils and no door bells to ring. I am not 7 years old anymore and the one I always made the basket for is gone. Today is rainy and dark, it would be my beloved grandmother's 85th birthday and her brother's 75th. Today though, her ashes are being scattered and he will be interred at the Crosslake Cemetery.

There is a shrill pain in my heart today, almost like a sliver somehow got lodged there in my septum such that every time my heart contracts I can feel it wedged in there as if to remind me that I am still alive. I am still alive, a few short months ago I had to check to make sure that was still the case, but here I am. Very much alive and very much aware of the thoughts and feelings worming their way through me right now.

I miss my Grandmother so. There are so many things I would like to share with her, so many things I would like her to know about me. Like some shred of wisdom I managed to gain when she sat waiting so patiently for me to see it for myself. I miss talking with her on the phone about the deer and the flowers in her yard. I would like to show her pictures of the Boston Marathon, share my aspirations and new love. Listen to her stories of lost love and child rearing. I would like to know what was really going on that day I had my accident, was she there with me? It sure felt like it, her hands holding me tight to my seat protecting me from glass and metal. Sometimes it still feels as though she is here beside me, her voice her laughter, her smart ass remarks, she is here.

There is some love lost in the world today, two wonderful people are alive only in the hearts of those who loved them. But what is life with suffering and pain. My wish for them is that they are together, taking care of one another, I find some comfort in those thoughts. There are daffodils in heaven I know; and it is May Day today. Happy Birthday gramma and uncle bob!

Been Awhile!

I see that it has been a while since I posted. I guess life has gotten the better of me and I have been uninspired to write something worth while. So I will take a shot at mildly entertaining.

I drove by the accident scene last week. It was surreal, my blood pressure went up, my mood changed and I had flashbacks. Even though the sun was out and nary a snowflake to be seen, that day was with me. I stopped to snap a photo of the tree I was resting on, that parts of somehow made it home with me. I saw something glinting in the sun, maybe a CD case that I had lost. I wasn't going to go down there, I couldn't. A small piece of the interstate I had driven hundreds of times without notice is now haunted and frightening. Almost as if there is some sort of climatic change in just that area, where if you are driving late at night your lights might mysteriously go out.

I am looking forward to spring and summer, not having to drive white knuckle to work or back home. I don't know how long it will be before it stops feeling like my car is sliding. It took me two days to not feel like I was rocking after I got off the sailboat. Something tells me this one isn't quite so simple.

I know how lucky I am that I wasn't killed. I wear my seatbelt EVERYWHERE now. I know that life is way too short to spend it angry and sour. I enjoy the sunshine a little bit more and appreciate every day that I have. It is amazing how much your life can change in one single moment...

There is a fungus among us!

I am not sure how this story will turn out. It is either one of those that is really funny because of the biologist in me, is one of those "ya had to be there" stories, or is just truly funny because it is so obvious! I am not really sure, but ice cream almost shot out my nose.

I will set the scene: My friend Dan has been gone for about a month but we always have dinner at this place on Sundays. Every Sunday there is usually something in the fridge that has grown legs and a mouth and is eating the good food that is still in there. So it is not surprising that we throw things away every once in a while. Since Dan has just returned he did not get to share Sunday Dinner, however, there were some mushrooms left over and they were on the counter.

Early Conversation--

Pak: I am going to throw away the mushrooms, they are bad

Dan: No, I like mushrooms, I am sure they are fine!

Later Conversation--

Pak: I am going to throw away the mushrooms

Jeff: Yeah, they probably have some sort of fungus on them

Dan: They ARE a fungus!!!

I guess it seems pretty anti-climatic, but it was funny last night. Either that or it was the two Premiums I had at 11:00 pm!

Directions?

So yesterday I volunteered to work at a hockey tournament as a favor to a friend. Said friend's wife, another friend, was going to pick me up after work and we were going to drive to the game. So we had the directions and we kind of knew where we were going. Unfortunately we took the exit the directions told us to take and they were wrong for some reason. I am still not sure how that happened, it appeared to be marked correctly, however, it did not get us to the proper location. So after stopping at a Spur station, where the lady had obviously had strange people like us stopping in to ask where the Hippodrome is we were on our way through 2 stop signs which sounded as if they would be really close, but I guess "close" on the range is a relative thing. We finally arrived at the tournament about 10 minutes late, but thankfully no one asked any questions, if they would have we would have lied!

Instead of admitting we got lost and took the wrong way into town, we decided to try to find our way back out alone. We did finally make it home, without asking directions a second time, but how embarrassing to get lost in Eveleth, MN population 3,700!!!!

Other fun things that I would like to share about "the range"

Everyone has a cammo hat that says something about guns on it
One word: Flannel
One more word: Mullet
Apparently Eveleth is some sort of Hockey mecca
Part of North Country was filmed at the Hippodrome
Lots of braces!
No one has ever asked for a XXXL t-shirt before (at least to me)
People on "the range" are way more friendly than most Canadians!

Belated Birthday Wish

It wouldn't be from me if it weren't a few days late! Some of my students helped me out with this one. You have to appreciate the moose ears for sure, smart ass kids :)

Spring Fever

Apparently whoever came up with "pure as the driven snow" as a nice term did not run 9 miles into it on a blustery Sunday morning. Driven snow is niether pure nor snow. It is more like little frozen daggers built around a dirty speck of dust. So that was my morning. The 9 miles out on that run was perfect, apparently because the wind was at my back. We ended up with like 6 inches of heavy water laden snow that I now have to shovel off the front walk. Have I mentioned that I am really ready for spring?

It is a very sleepy gray day and for some reason I am craving some type of gut bomb in the form of a very greasy burger and fries. An Anchor run would be in order to the satisfaction of my carnivorous yearnings. Any takers?

2 Buck Chuck

I was first introduced to the idea of this fine wine when I was preparing to visit my sister in Portland. My gramma wanted me to "pick her up a bottle of 2 buck chuck", so I said I would. My sister knew just where to go to find this elusive treat. Elusive at least to us in the midwest because we can't get it here.

So last night I went to Sunday Dinner, which is a weekly event hosted by my friend Dan, even when he is in Mexico, we just have it without him. There is always excellent food accompanied by fine wine. Dan and Karl make their own wine in Dan's basement, so we are never without dinner wine, desert wine, port wine, what-have-you. Last night I came in and asked for my usual glass of wine and I got 2 buck chuck! The real deal. I was thrilled. I had only touched a bottle of the fermented liquid, never tasted it myself. So with desperate anticipation I put the glass to my lips for my very first ever taste of the infamous wine. I took a breath, closed my eyes and let the sweet wet my tongue and excite my taste buds with a flavor I couldn't quite put my finger on, until I swallowed. Yep, that was Chardonay alright! No doubt about it, pretty smooth, not too dry... it was, well, fine.

I was not dissapointed however, it is more of a brand thing, not a taste thing. There are certain things you must do just because. Not because it is great, or life changing, but to do it. Like go to Walldrug, meet Henry Winkler and try 2 buck chuck!

Serenade

I heard one of the seniors that I had as a sophomore playing his guitar the other day. I asked him to come and play for me and he did. He played me all the songs that he wrote and they were so beautiful. He is a thinker, a doer and a creator and he gives me hope for the future.

Do as a say, not as I do!

It occured to me today when I was teaching about classification and organization that I am not modeling the correct behavior. I hope one day to be as organized as I hope one day to be. In certain areas I am one of those "do as I say, not as I do" kind of people. I figure they still have a chance. It is so much easier to learn something right the first time than to try to unlearn what you have already learned in order to relearn the right way, right?

At any rate I am working on this organization thing one day at a time!